Sorry I’m so late with this article - I’ve taken some vacation time with my daughter and it’s been hectic. Thank you to all my wonderful readers who have been logging on, I’m sorry for the delay.
So, with all the talk about the release of Sex and the City 2 there has been a slew of publicity in all forms of media here in the States. In one article Kristen Davis is quoted as saying:
“I relate to Charlotte in terms of the unrealistic expectations she puts on herself. The Southern element of perfection that I grew up in.”
Perfectionism is an emotional and mental affliction that holds many women in its iron grip, keeping them anxious, afraid, and small. It is a road that never leads anywhere, let alone anywhere good.
The trouble with perfection is that it is a moving target. It shifts with our every experience, every change of perspective. It is a psychological construction which, like a castle in the sand, is washed away by the tide of wisdom and woe and must be built anew each day. The irony is that even though our efforts always fail - because there is no such thing as an objectively perfect ideal - we never cease trying to achieve it.
A story I read in The Economist several years ago comes to mind. It told of an elderly man who was stopped by police on the M25 in London for driving too slowly. The poor fellow asked the police if he was anywhere near Durham (in the country’s north). He did not realise the freeway was a loop and he had been driving around in circles for more than ten hours, getting absolutely nowhere.
Chasing the fantasy of perfection is a psychological loop that ensnares many of us. We cannot get off this particular treadmill without some understanding and awareness of who we really are. Without some insight into our spiritual essence and origin, our thoughts circle mindlessly, and we experience only frustration, pain and failure.
It is extremely useful (and time saving) if we understand that all in this life is not as it seems. Life is in fact a paradox. When we think we know what it is all about, we soon learn that it is something completely different. That is the trick question of life, which manifests in different forms for us all.
That’s why, no matter who we are, no matter how smart, beautiful, rich, or talented we seem to be, we all have stumbling blocks to peace, joy and happiness which can only be surmounted and conquered with some understanding of our true nature.
The only perfection in this life of ubiquitous and enduring imperfection is a perfection of process. The perfect process in which all human experience is grounded is that we will all learn (some would say remember) our life lessons. No matter our circumstances or situation, our life lessons are the curriculum, the reason for being, the whole purpose of this human experience. This is an unavoidable spiritual fact. (For those of you who would like to read further about how we choose our life lessons, I would highly recommend Caroline Myss’s book Sacred Contracts: Awakening Your Divine Potential).
We all experience a different version of life because our experiences are uniquely designed for each of us individually, to lead us to the wisdom and understanding needed to master our life lessons. This process is perfect because the end is sure: we will learn what we need to learn.
When we understand this we will experience peace and joy because we will be able to see that even though everything in this world seems so imperfect, all is as it is supposed to be and that the process of life is always perfect.
