One of the most difficult things about being a parent is that there is very little appreciation for, or acknowledgement of, good parenting. Unless you openly abuse your child, no one on the outside can discern a truly good parent from the mere appearance of one.
If you work outside the home there are bosses who can tell you what a good job you are doing, bonuses and promotions that give concrete affirmation and reward for your efforts, and then there is that fondly cherished accessory, the business card, that proclaims to the world your status and achievements.
Not so for the full-time parent. And when you are in the thick of it - whether as mother or father - you can sometimes wonder if all the interrupted nights, the interrupted days (when they forget their lunch or they are unwell) all the worrying, anticipating of needs, and generally doing whatever it takes to make for a well balanced and healthy child are actually achieving that end goal.
My friend got her report card over Christmas. Her son gave her no present, just this letter:
Dear Mum
**I love every minute we spend together…We have a lot of fun. **
But really, I love and admire you with every fibre I have, and thanks to those burgers, that’s more fibres than ever! You are, in a sense, my soul mate, you are my best friend… I appreciate everything you do for me, which is a lot. And I absolutely **love** our family, and you are the key. You are the foundation of everything I am, and you keep my [other side] in check, whilst still somehow encouraging it. **
I love you mum, I couldn’t be happier, and it’s mostly because of you. You succeeded. Merry Christmas.
If my friend thought she had sacrificed anything for her children, given up parts of herself, delayed her desires and gratifications, then she suddenly she got the affirmation she always intuitively knew she would receive for a job well done. It was worth it!
