A friend of mine recently asked his manager for a change in the physical conditions of his work space in the office. He feels his current position is too exposed to the movements and continual interruptions and distractions of his co-workers passing by and holding conversations over his head while he is trying to concentrate. His solution was to suggest a move to a desk in another part of the office that is currently unoccupied.
Without bothering to inquire as to the reasons for the request and showing no interest in even engaging in a discussion of the issues, the manager just summarily dismissed my friend’s request. The manager alluded that he had not ‘earned’ a desk change, implying that the manager was more concerned with power and control issues than facilitating the best work of the employees.
In this situation my friend has one of two options. He can either accept the decision and just get on with doing the best job he can, or alternatively, he can make the changes he deems necessary to find a work situation that enables his best work and greatest fulfillment.
However, most people exercise neither option. Because of fear for the security of their job, or from a sense of unworthiness or powerlessness leading to an inability to speak one’s truth, most people sit somewhere in between these two options: they neither accept the decision but nor do they do anything about it. Thus they get stuck, unable to either move forward or back, out of their dilemma/conflict.
Our fear of losing the good opinion of others, added to the fear of the possibility of losing one’s job, is a potent deterrent to us speaking our own truth. Our fear of what we see as likely undesirable consequences prevents us from following the dictates of our heart and desire. Work places around the globe are filled with self-enslaved workers.
We all want to have the independence and strength of conviction to create and control the circumstances of our lives, yet we all suffer the crippling consequences of struggling to retain the good opinion of others. But, as internationally renowned proponent for self-reliance, Wayne Dyer, famously says, what others think about us is none of our business!
It is only once we can detach ourselves from the opinion and approval of others, and in particular those we see as having power over us, that we can experience true freedom. Without this, we live a life in servitude to the desires of others.
When we love ourselves unconditionally we do not need others to tell us we are lovable, competent, or valuable and we tap into an infallible power that enables us to live according to our own desires. This is a power that none can take from us. This is the only true power, and that’s why love equals power.
